pottery 2007-present

Inventory: Dream Map, Minor Key
Companions: Crow, Magpie

I write w/ freewriter


thoughts on relationship

to do:
start a practice of painful honesty with people you care for

ground rules:
you're allowed to like a lot of people at the same time
everyone has multiple soulmates
if you care anything about love don't see the movie Paper Heart

1. be free of expectiations
alternative: want it to be like a movie (and will fake it as necessary)
2. forego formality
this requires an agreement* that if we find something better, we will pursue it. the agreement affirms that we change all the time, sometimes not being in a relationship is better. then 'breaking up' is not a personal attack because it is impermanent, its another part of a relationship ->

actually we don't need to break up. A formal [and binary] monogamous relationship provides the illusion of security [we are averse to loss]. Complacency makes losing something terribly difficult. We can replace the illusion of security with the illusion that we are free to pursue a situation that better suits us. Substituting security with possibility removes the need to be in a formal relationship.
[formality may have been the problem]

next section: issues in spoken vs. unspoken
*the agreement is actually formal, and should be spoken