let biceps drip sweat holding up a camera phone

What do I sacrifice when I'm engaged in this idea that I'm purposesly creating a memory? When I say to myself this is a good thing, let it happen, let it go a little farther, a little too far: that's what makes memories. Well I have good memories, but they're stained with the knowledge that I intentionally recorded them. That at times I had to fake it to make it#
What's it like to be certain with your behavior?